"I want to cuddle with you but also give you orgasms."

When someone acts like the victim when it’s their fault. I literally just got done asking you not to do anything while I’m home and you said you would yet you go out the next day 2 hours before I come home from work. You say that you didn’t think it was going to be an all day thing right? How is going to lunch, going to go get someones fake ID and go to drop off clothes NOT going to be an all day thing when you leave at 1PM? Getting a fake ID alone is an all day thing. I ask you what you want me to make for dinner and you don’t respond but instead you tell me about your plans for the day. Then you get mad when you text me asking if I made dinner and I say “no” because you never responded me earlier when I asked you. Then you have the nerve to ask me if I’m going to be in a good or bad mood when you get home… and I tell you I won’t be home because I’m going to the MOVIES by MYSELF. Then you ask me if I planned on inviting you… obviously not if you haven’t been home since I got home from work. I’ve basically already sat around all day waiting for you to get home so MY BAD for just going to go do something by myself. So you decide that you’re NOT going to come home but instead go out somewhere drinking with whomever and then tell me the reason why you didn’t come home was because your car was acting up but later on say that you didn’t come home because I was going to be in a bad mood. So which one is it? Because your car was messing up or because I’d be in a bad mood? Sorry that all I wanted to do is come home and start off my weekend with you but you had other plans. You basically cancelled our plans to do something else. I’m not going to take any blame for this because THIS was YOUR fault. You wanna throw that I went out and why couldn’t you? I went out BY MYSELF to see a movie AFTER waiting over 6 hours for you to get home. YOU went out DRINKING with someone else. THAT’S the difference between what you and I did. I literally have no had the chance to spend time with you since last Friday but I guess I’m the only one who cares about wanting to spend time with you. NOT coming home because we argue is NOT okay. I now see that I am not a priority to you. You say that you don’t want to spend 100% of your time with me but you don’t. You have 9 hours to yourself when I’m at work 5 out of the 7 days of the week. I’m sorry it’s too much of me to ask to spend time with your own girlfriend on her 2 days off. 





'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'


'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'

Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.

This is the response I use every fucking time